Moments

Oh no. Here I am back on the blog. My haven during One Direction's peak along with Twitter. I suppose it's only fitting that my return is regarding them. More importantly, the passing of Liam Payne. This didnt cross my mind, one of them passing. A reunion, maybe. That thought comes around often. But not a tragedy. The news struck me at work, at the end of my shift. I saw an Instagram post and I couldn't believe my eyes so I went to Google it. Sure enough, article after article. It was true. My stomach dropped. I immediately thought about his family. His son, his parents. He was so young, and it all ended so quickly. Liam wasn't perfect. Allegations surfacing from ex girlfriends and fans etc, especially in the last few weeks. Liam struggled with substance abuse and has come forward about that too. It just doesn't feel right. The photos of the scene: The punched in TV screen, the drugs on the floor. It's a shame that according to hotel staff, he was under the influence and they were worried for his safety. Maybe it was an accident, maybe it was self inflicted, maybe it was more. The truth is, we likely won't ever know. And this happens all too often with celebrity deaths. It's unfortunate that he didn't receive the help that he needed before it was too late. I think seeing his former band mates pay tribute to him brings me more closure but I cant imagine how theyre feeling either. Regardless of the whys and hows, Liam, as a member of One Direction, helped to shape my life as a young girl and in turn, many parts of who I am today. My wedding song was even a piano version of If I Could Fly. I think collectively as a fandom, we're feeling our youth slip away and this tragedy has taken a big piece of it. I write this as 25 year old me, but I think the one processing it is 15 year old me. It is equally comforting as it is heartbreaking seeing so many fans come together online right now. It's nostalgic seeing the old videos and photos and everyone feeling this sadness together. I suppose I could go on forever about this but when I was feeling every feeling possible, One Direction was comfort, fun, community and inspiration. And that is what I will remember him for. Rest in Peace, Liam. "If we could only have this life for one more day. If we could only turn back time" -Moments One Direction